Have you ever been in a conversation with someone that left you feeling like you weren't really heard?

As Stephen R. Covey once said, "Most people do not listen with the intent to understand. They listen with the intent to reply."

Can you think of a recent conversation where you weren't listening with the intent to truly understand?

In our work with clients who care for a spouse, parent, or other relative, we share a "secret sauce"...a special kind of listening that:

• Conveys understanding without judgement
• Reduces tension and anxiety
• Deepens the emotional connection
• Transforms the relationship

We want to share the essential ingredients that make working through caregiving challenges SO much easier.

Do:

• Allow them to lead/speak
• Make eye contact and pay close attention
• Be aware of your facial expressions

Do Not:

• Interrupt them with your thoughts or opinions
• Correct their mistakes
• Offer solutions (unless they ask you)

Aging and dementia slows the ability to process thoughts and words, so it's important to  get comfortable with silence.

Give the other person time to speak. 

Resist the urge to talk over them.

When it's your time to speak:

• Speak one sentence at a time
• Use 3-5 word sentences
• Pause for at least 5 seconds to give them time to respond

If you don't know what to say:

• Reflect what you heard
• Ask them to tell you more about it
• Smile and convey warmth

 Empathic listening means being comfortable during uncomfortable conversations and not denying the other person's concerns or worries.

Put yourself in their shoes:

How must they be feeling? If you were in their shoes, what would you appreciate hearing back?

In a nutshell, empathic listening is essential for meaningful relationships.

So, what do you have to lose?

Give the sauce a try and let us know what you think.